- Happy people don’t need to remind themselves they are happy
- The more you focus on what you lack, the more you feel bad for your lack
- You only have so much time and energy to care about things
- Not caring does not mean being indifferent
- Find stuff you want to deal with
- “Finding something meaningful might be the most important thing to do in your life”
- Sometimes, it is okay for things to not be okay
- Suffering is biologically necessary to drives us to change
- Happiness comes from solving problems
- Negative emotions are a reminder that something is wrong
- Question your emotions
- “What pain do you want to sustain?” (what are you willing to fight to get)
- “The true measure of self-worth is how a person feels about their failures.”
- “Measure yourself by more mundane identities”; this gives up your entitlements and the high bar
- Ask if you are wrong about your assumptions
- “What would it mean if I were wrong?”
- “Would being wrong create a better or worse problem for myself or others?”
- It is more likely you are wrong rather than everyone else
- “VCR questions” because the answer is easy to everyone else
- “Learn to sustain the pain you’ve chosen”
- You don’t know anything, so what is there to lose
- When you don’t know what to do, just do something
- “Inspiration is a reward, not a prerequisite”
- Honesty builds trust
- Our character comes from what we choose to reject
- Entitled people take responsibility for others instead of themselves
- Ask how the relationship would change if you refused
- If something bad would happen then there are issues in the relationship
- Conflict helps us to learn who we can trust
- Commitments frees you by limiting your options
- Greatness and success are different
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