Blog

• Old people need “newness” more than young people
• When we think of the world of flat, we think of it, and it’s resources, at being infinite

• “Rock stars” are stable and consistent
• “Superstars” are reaching for the next big thing
• You need a balance of both
• Part of being a boss is providing emotional labor
• Care personally and challenge directly
• Show that you know it hurts
• Obnoxious aggression is second best to radical candor
• Blame external behavior not internal essence
• Start by asking for radical candor to yourself
• Focus on sincerity over compliment ratios
• “No permanent markers”
• Provide space for people to help make the right decision
• Teammates need to learn to listen
• Push decisions into facts
• Show/share your work so people can see how you got there
• Keep some dirt under your fingernails
• “It’s painfully difficult to admit when you have an ugly baby”
• “If you have to use someone else’s name, you probably don’t have the right reasons to do it.”
• Optimal hugs are held for at least 6 seconds
• Each person is responsible for their own emotions
• Excuse yourself to get tissue or water, it gives times to regain composure
• Offer a bottle of water when emotions get intense
• Walk during tough conversations to help manage them
• Bosses can ask to be criticized in public
• Don’t debate or defend the critique
• Situation, Behavior, Impact
• Try to give feedback right away
• Clarity is measured at the ear of the listener
• Don’t let women be “the angel of the office”
• Performance reviews
  • There shouldn’t be any surprises
  • Get at least some feedback
  • Get feedback on yourself first
  • Write it down
  • Schedule 50 minutes and don’t go back-to-back
  • Split the review 50/50 between the past and the future
  • Ask them to come up with a plan
• Personal development plans
  • Tell me about your life from Kindergarten on
  • For each major decision, ask about the change
  • Ask about their dreams
  • Ask for 3-5 dreams; this helps to get past virtue signally dreams to real dreams
  • List out the skills needed for each dream
• Include someone from another team on the interview loop
• Debate time is NOT decision time
• Debate meetings should be working towards determining if we are ready for a decision or need more discussion

• Industrial Age language
  • Continue
  • Escalation of commitment
  • Coercion
• We tend to focus on other people’s behavior instead of changing our own
  • “Feel free to speak up” vs “I am listening to your suggestions”
• Emotions are needed to make decisions
• “Discuss then vote” creates poorer results where voting first gives better results
  • Couples tend to estimate household contributions that total to 130%
• In manufacturing, we strive to reduce variation
• We need to shift between “thinking” and “doing” modes
• “How sure are you?” is better than “Are you sure?”
• White collar work is about thinking
• Blue collar workers are not supposed to think
• Added stress reduces an ability to learn
• Control the clock instead of obeying the clock
• Scheduled check-ins lets the team fully focus on delivery
• “How likely is it to work?”
• Inputs don’t need to be binary even if the decision is
• “How does that align with our objective?
• Descriptions tap a different part of the brain than emotions
• Invite descent
• Give information rather than direction
• Consider having senior people do the evaluation with junior people making the decision
• Immediate, positive, and certain outcomes are most important
• Antecedent behaviors are not important
• Scheduled check-ins lets the team fully focus on delivery
• Celebrate with, not for (“I see…”, “I noticed…”, “It looks like…” not “I’m proud of you…”)
• Improvement should be a stairway, not a ramp
  • Specify the exit from Red work before starting it
  • Hold off on updates or changes until after the celebration
• Red work should be learning work
• Self-determination theory
• Phrase to focus on next time or handing to someone else
• Pilots crash more often than co-pilots because people are more scared to suggestion corrections to them

You need to change!