- The question to ask is, “Why kids
won’tcan’t do what we want them to do?” - Early childhood trauma mitigates future phobia
- Children need to experience moderate stress and then relief
- Yelling at a child is basically the same as hitting them (based on brain scans)
- Holding hands is really powerful
- Schizophrenic patients back home fare worse since schizophrenic patients living with strangers
- Expressed emotion
- No casual criticisms
- Executive function has little correlation with intelligence
- Demonstrating imperfection to your kids helps them by okay with their own imperfections
- Styles
- Authoritarian (“the good old days”): Tells what to do
- Authoritative (best): Explains why we are doing it; negotiates when reasonable alternatives are presented
- Connection with children
- Communication about problems
- Building skills of children
- Permissive (worst): Lets the kids do what they want
- Excessive time with pre-teens does little to support their growth
- Relationships and independence are the most important pieces of parenting
- Mistaken goals are when children try to belong through powerful, negative emotional engagement
- Negligence forces the brain to mature prematurely that results in over anxiety
- Read and discuss things
- Instead of praise, state what you are seeing
- “I see Daniel has put his coat on the hanger”
- Praising can make a praise addict where identification helps them feel seen
- Kids are predictable, plan ahead
- Do things with children, not to them
- Consequences need to be known ahead of time
- The goal is to show a behavior, not to “like” it
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