- All information processing goes bottom up
- Brains develop from the bottom up
- The younger you are, the more impressionable you are, even if you do not understand what is going on
- Trauma is more severe when we do not have the language to describe it
- Rhythm calms and leads to regulation
- Infants cannot self-regulate
- We have three neural systems: regulation, relationship, and rewards
- Fight, flight, freeze, or disengage
- We tend to disengage when we cannot otherwise fight or flee (we are too young or small)
- Intense self-medication is often an attempt to soothe trauma
- Experience is important to changing how the brain works
- For infants, care is love
- Controllability of stress is what is important
- Flock (check to see what everyone else is doing), freeze (to assess what is going on), fight, or flee
- There is a difference between believing you deserve happiness and knowing you are worthy of it
- Trauma has three key aspects: event, experience, and effects
- Timing makes a huge difference
- The younger the trauma, the worse the effects
- Early on, we can only take small doses of therapeutic revisiting
- “What happened to us?” Is also important to ask
- We inherit through genes, gene expression, behavior, and traditions
- Infants need a few deep, consistent relationships
- We are most comfortable when our experience lines up with our world view
- This is why we sabotage relationships
- (We are taught how to be treated then we teach people how to treat us)
- “We feel better with the certainty of misery than the misery of uncertainty.”
- Children are malleable not resilient
- (Children are anti-fragile)
- Regulate, relate, and then reason
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