“What Happened To You” by Bruce D Pretty and Oprah Winfrey

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  • All information processing goes bottom up
  • Brains develop from the bottom up
  • The younger you are, the more impressionable you are, even if you do not understand what is going on
  • Trauma is more severe when we do not have the language to describe it
  • Rhythm calms and leads to regulation
  • Infants cannot self-regulate
  • We have three neural systems: regulation, relationship, and rewards
  • Fight, flight, freeze, or disengage
    • We tend to disengage when we cannot otherwise fight or flee (we are too young or small)
  • Intense self-medication is often an attempt to soothe trauma
  • Experience is important to changing how the brain works
  • For infants, care is love
  • Controllability of stress is what is important
  • Flock (check to see what everyone else is doing), freeze (to assess what is going on), fight, or flee
  • There is a difference between believing you deserve happiness and knowing you are worthy of it
  • Trauma has three key aspects: event, experience, and effects
  • Timing makes a huge difference
    • The younger the trauma, the worse the effects
  • Early on, we can only take small doses of therapeutic revisiting
  • “What happened to us?” Is also important to ask
  • We inherit through genes, gene expression, behavior, and traditions
  • Infants need a few deep, consistent relationships
  • We are most comfortable when our experience lines up with our world view
    • This is why we sabotage relationships
    • (We are taught how to be treated then we teach people how to treat us)
  • “We feel better with the certainty of misery than the misery of uncertainty.”
  • Children are malleable not resilient
    • (Children are anti-fragile)
  • Regulate, relate, and then reason

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