Category: Reading

  • “The Thing with Wings” by Noah Stryker

    • Birds have been known to follow roads
    • Birds can hear infra sounds and smell really well
    • Most pigeons do not get lost, they either die or go home with someone else
    • Starlings track their seven nearest neighbors, Starling of metric distance
    • “Was math invented or discovered?”
    • Vulture defecate on their legs to disinfect them
    • Hummingbirds
      • Smallest warm blooded animals (except some shrews)
      • Aztec God of War
      • Beaks are very flexible
      • Go into suspended animation for sleep because they cannot get enough to eat to stay alive
      • Are not social and do not flock
      • Can become too heavy to fly
    • Most animals live for one billion heartbeats
    • Fear invokes a range of responses, not just Fight or Flight
    • Water fowl spoke easier and flee further during hunting season
    • Penguin ditch circadian rhythms in the summer but keep them in the winter
    • Vocal mimicry is a limited in animals
    • Chickens
      • Have a strongly enforced pecking order
      • An egalitarian coop tends to be more violent because no one knows their place
      • Have better color vision than us
      • Are insighted to violence when they see red
    • Art and utility used to be synonyms
    • It is best to be nice in the wrong run
    • Cooperating sometimes benefits the kids and sometimes the parents
    • Generosity satisfies a primal need
    • Albatross
      • Mate for life
      • Can lock its shoulders to hold it’s wings without using muscles
      • Fly an estimated four million miles in its life
  • “Smart Brevity” by Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz

    • “I didn’t have time to write you a short letter. So, I wrote you a long one.” Mark Twain
    • Short, not shallow
    • Core Four
      • Muscular tease (6 or fewer words)
      • One strong sentence or lead (tell me something I don’t know or want to know)
      • Context (explain why this matters)
      • Choice to learn more (on their time)
    • Listen to the readers and the data
    • “All you can do is the next right thing.”
    • What we want to say vs what they need to hear
    • Write to someone in particular
    • Say what you want to get across. Then stop.
    • Guide
      • 6 words tops for the subject line
      • 10 words or less for the reason you are writing
      • Active verbs always
      • Trumpet one big thing
    • Answer the question: What is this? Is it worth my time?
    • Tips
      • “Why it matters?”
      • “It’s hot, I’m going inside”
      • “Who doing what”
  • “The Book of Boundaries” by Melissa Urban

    • Boundaries are for managing our responses
    • “This is the limit of behavior that is acceptable to me.”
    • Boundary setting is not mean
    • In order to set the boundary, you need to spell them out
    • “Clear is kind”
    • Make an “incoming boundary” sound to signal a change in the conversation to add some distance between the offense and setting the boundary
      • “Uh”, “huh”, “opps”
    • Do not be afraid to ask to circle back to correct inappropriate behavior
    • Healthy boundaries come from the self; they do not seek to control others
    • “Unearned guilt” is feeling guilty for not behaving like someone else wants
    • Avoid oversharing or excusing why you are creating the boundary
      • (It is also easier to negotiate the conditions or satisfy them, which is often not what you want.)
    • Avoid setting consequences when you first set the boundaries
    • Be okay to adjust boundaries over time as things change
    • Periodically ask yourself if a boundary is still needed
    • Be sociable on your time to be proactive
    • Communicate your feeling clearly and accurately, expect your partner to do the same
    • Boundaries are not replacements for communication
    • Try having tasks being owned end-to-end (recognition, conception, and execution) so no one has to nag and to avoid splitting the cognitive load
    • Put chores on a schedule
    • Consent must be respected without excuses
    • Outline and emulate boundaries that of the behavior you want to see
    • People can feel bad about what they are doing
    • “I don’t talk about food over food.”
    • “I’m not drinking right now.”
    • “The Ring Theory”
      • Grief flows out
      • Comfort flows in
      • People at the center of an event have no obligation to comfort those outside their ring
    • Give people space to save face
    • Be graceful when people come back
    • Provide face time to talk
    • Accept the boundary and follow up later
    • Provide face time to talk further
  • “Love by Design” by Sara Nasserzadeh

    • We pack so much on the “magic” of love
    • Couples need to have a shared future facing vision
    • “We expect love to hurt”
    • True love can overcome everything
    • Coupledom is fairly universal
    • Courtly love (“love” for peace) became romantic love
    • Increasingly, we want to marry for love and love alone
    • Happy couples are all the same, miserable couples are all miserable for different reasons
    • “Love” works better when thought as a range of actions than a feeling
    • Quirks are an advantage to us but others might not appreciate them
    • Thinking
      • Abstract thinking, big picture, connecting dots
      • Information processing
      • Organizing things
      • Facilitation happens through doing something Sikhs
    • Attachment
      • Anxious
      • Avoidant
      • Secure
    • America is a low context society, where detail needs to be communicated frequently
    • Attracting can be built over time
    • We reference “people like us” to predict future behavior earlier
    • More of a “Puzzle of Attraction” than a law
    • It is important to understand why someone is attractive to you so you can track those needs as they change over time
    • Losing attraction can happen because we no longer need the things they offer or they no longer offer the things we need
    • (We see this often as couples “grow apart”, literally picking up new things that are not aligned with their partners)
    • “I respect others because I am a respective person”
    • Trust is earned
    • Physical associations can be important
    • Dropping the ball us more damaging than asking for help
    • Work together to manage your ‘couple brand’
    • Avoid self-identifying with other people’s pain
    • Compassion is about feeling in their behalf
    • “What you cannot tolerate in yourself,  you won’t be able to tolerate in others.”
    • Avoiding conflict is not ideal
    • Ask your partner to talk about the thing, include why it matters to you
    • “Authenticity” is often an excuse to be rude or mean
    • The opposite of pleasure is comfort

  • “How to prevent the next pandemic” by Bill Gates

    • There is really no substitute for preparation
    • WHO should have people embedded in government agencies to closely coordinate efforts
    • Being able to survey local health is critical to detecting hotspots
    • “If it looks like you are overreacting, you are probably doing it right”
    • Context matters, so adapt as needed
    • Contact tracing has been around for a while
    • Vaccines are a lot harder to prove quality than a drug
      • Generally, a vaccine requires biological processing to prove it works; regular medication can use a simple chemical reaction
    • We should plan to flood the market with a given vaccine so we do not have to worry about who is getting it
    • Not having wide spread diagnostics impairs the ability to get good data
    • Laying the ground work is very important before things happen