Category: Life

The other night I peeled an orange with the intention of eating it. But after one bite I realized that it was no good so I threw into the garbage disposal (yes, I made sure I had one first) and ran it. It sounded awful but ran a little bit then suddenly stopped. I flipped the switch a number of times and it wouldn’t work so I braved the disgust, unplugged the disposal, and plunged into it. I found some of the orange left, but also something else. It was hard and smooth, like plastic, but it had writing on it. I jiggled and pulled but it was stuck and I didn?t have an Allen wrench that fit the hole at the bottom of the disposal to get it unloosed. “Great” I thought, “I just wanted to eat a simple orange and this is what I get”. I grabbed some tools and a flashlight and commenced surgery. I soon found that my disposal was held up by one of my plastic teaspoons which wasn’t just stuck but was actually wedged underneath one of the spinning blades. Now, I don’t know if you have ever been in this situation so I will try to describe it. Start with a tiny 3 maybe 4 inch opening into which you must shove your hand (or other tools) into a dark space where a tiny shaft of light shines down (at best) all the while thinking of all the horrible things you have sent down this very drain and how at any moment they might, for no explainable reason, suddenly come rushing back at you. I pulled and pulled and wiggled and jiggled, but it wouldn?t come unstuck. But I got the disposal to run again, sounding worse than ever. I let it run for a bit but the rest of the spoon would not come out, so I gave up (but not before I dumped oil and soap and ran tons of hot and cold water to try to get it loose. The next day I busted out the needle nose pliers maneuvered them down and twisted and twisted until SNAP! I had gotten a piece of the spoon! I was so excited I did it again. Snap! I got another piece. Snap! A third piece, but this one was so small I wanted to give up before I broke the disposal. I decided to give it one last try. I twisted and twisted and twisted and twisted and stopped (Mr. Fluff wanted to come in) and twisted and twisted until I thought I was going to twist the whole disposal out of my sink then Clunk. I had triumphed over the garbage disposal because I held clutched in the grip of the pliers the last of the spoon. I dropped a few lemon peels down and let the disposal run until they were gone. I am so happy it works now, though I must admit I think I need a more power one.

When I was a kid I hated flossing. Not just because of the annoyance of running a thin piece of wax coated string up and down through all of my teeth with little perceptive change (unless I hadn’t flossed in a long time) but just the whole process of locating suitable floss, we had several different floss in the house, and extracting the allotted amount (I think it was about 6 inches), wrapping it around your fingers tight enough to hold onto but not so tight as to turn your finger purple, in general it was a pain. As I grew up I collected the sample floss that the dentist gave with each visit. By the time I left home I had an 18 month supply of floss. Finally I ran out. I was pained at the thought of having to actually buy floss (I think for the first time in my life). I eventually gave in to the evil marketing of Johnson & Johnson and bought a canister of floss. It cost a whole $3.79 for 200 yards. That night I pulled out 6 inches of my newly purchased floss and started flossing. I went through the usual motions of floss with my circulation cut off and finger barley having enough room to get around my teeth, then I stopped. I realized that I had been flossing like that for years and if I kept it up my floss would last me a life time. I don’t know how much people feel about having the same container of floss forever but I know that at some time it losses it’s flavor and in general gets gross. I decide to seize the moment and floss with a new piece of floss and this time it would be a foot long. So I yanked and cut and enjoyed using the incredibly long piece of floss. My roommate gave me a really weird expression when I told him that I would never again submit to using a piece of floss less than 8 inches. I feel at this point I should give a moral so I will. There comes a time in all of our lives when we will be challenged to break with the traditions that we grew up with. Sometimes we need to hold true and fast and never let go. Things like not smoking, always telling the truth, being honest in business are hallmarks of good character and should never be changed. But sometimes we should let go as soon as possible and experience life from a different perspective. Things like how much floss you cut, what type of deodorant you use, what style your hair is, the taste of eggplant should be evaluated though out your life (especially if you are not enjoying your current experience with the aforementioned items). If you decide to change you will experience something new and different (hopefully for the better). But, if you decide to stay with what you had before you will have a new appreciation for what you have. Either way your life will be improved. But remember, hold fast to your character, never let it degrade. As an end note, my current roommate has taught me to floss before I brush my teeth. It doesn’t leave my mouth with the same minty fresh taste, but my mouth does feel a lot cleaner.