- “Rock stars” are stable and consistent
- “Superstars” are reaching for the next big thing
- You need a balance of both
- Part of being a boss is providing emotional labor
- Care personally and challenge directly
- Show that you know it hurts
- Obnoxious aggression is second best to radical candor
- Blame external behavior not internal essence
- Start by asking for radical candor to yourself
- Focus on sincerity over compliment ratios
- “No permanent markers”
- Provide space for people to help make the right decision
- Teammates need to learn to listen
- Push decisions into facts
- Show/share your work so people can see how you got there
- Keep some dirt under your fingernails
- “It’s painfully difficult to admit when you have an ugly baby”
- “If you have to use someone else’s name, you probably don’t have the right reasons to do it.”
- Optimal hugs are held for at least 6 seconds
- Each person is responsible for their own emotions
- Excuse yourself to get tissue or water, it gives times to regain composure
- Offer a bottle of water when emotions get intense
- Walk during tough conversations to help manage them
- Bosses can ask to be criticized in public
- Don’t debate or defend the critique
- Situation, Behavior, Impact
- Try to give feedback right away
- Clarity is measured at the ear of the listener
- Don’t let women be “the angel of the office”
- Performance reviews
- There shouldn’t be any surprises
- Get at least some feedback
- Get feedback on yourself first
- Write it down
- Schedule 50 minutes and don’t go back-to-back
- Split the review 50/50 between the past and the future
- Ask them to come up with a plan
- Personal development plans
- Tell me about your life from Kindergarten on
- For each major decision, ask about the change
- Ask about their dreams
- Ask for 3-5 dreams; this helps to get past virtue signally dreams to real dreams
- List out the skills needed for each dream
- Include someone from another team on the interview loop
- Debate time is NOT decision time
- Debate meetings should be working towards determining if we are ready for a decision or need more discussion