- (the lie/the truth)
- Follow your dreams / Follow the opportunities
- Recognize when dreams hold you back
- Your worth is ever changing
- Ask where your dream came from
- (They often come from guardians in our lives)
- Stay curious
- Distinguish between what you want to be vs what you want to do
- Know your worth / Work on your professional worth
- Your work worth is different from your personal worth
- “…so is work. There is a reason we don’t call it play.”
- Starting from the bottom gives good perspective
- Have friends in high places / Find truth tellers in all places
- Let mentorship grow organically
- It’s what’s on the inside that matters / What’s on the outside matters too
- You can have it “all” / You will have choices
- All does not exist
- We have choices today that did not exist before
- We are all allowed to change our minds
- Own your choices
- Fake it ’til you make it / Face it ’til you make it
- “Imposter syndrome” is different from “imposter phenomenon” (the common feeling that most feel they are inadequate)
- Faking is living a lie
- “Are you out of your depth or just afraid of heights?”
- It’s a man’s world / Even if it’s not
- Leverage your gender
- “Care like a woman”
- Know what you’ll compromise on and what you won’t
- Talk is cheap / Talk is a valuable currency
- The absence of “yes” is not “no”
- “Use your words” and “ask for what you want”
- “There are always receipts”
- Good things come to those that wait / Great things come to those who act
- There’s nowhere to go but up / Success has multiple directions
- Diagonal movement lets us gain more depth
- Change perspective before changing location
- Trust your gut / Check your gut
- Your gut prefers the status quo
- Decision making
- Analyze, meditate
- Brainstorm
- Compare
- Devil’s advocate
- Expertise
- Gut
- Don’t sweat the small stuff / You should sweat all the stuff
- If you do not manage the small things, why would should you be trusted with the big things
- Sweat, but don’t stress
- The winner takes all / Nope, winning isn’t everything
- When you mess up, apologize quickly
- Read the room
- Don’t mix work and play / All work and no play makes everyone boring
- If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it / If it could be better, it might be broken
- The status quo is always at risk at being disrupted
- Keep eyes forward to what comes next
- Ask, Answer, Address
- The only constant in life is change
Author: Daniel
-
“15 Lies Women Are Told at Work” by Bonnie Hammer
-
“Misbehaving” by Richard H Thaler
- Brainpower is a limited resource so we use things to be more efficient, such as heuristics
- We notice changes more than facts; but the changes need to meet a perception threshold
- Sunk costs (money spent that cannot be retrieved) drives our consumption
- Consumption related to Sunk Costs dissipate over time
- To an “econ”, money in fungible and budgeting is irrelevant
- When we are losing, we favor small bets with long odds over larger bets with better odds
- We tend to diminish the value of future pleasures (“Ice cream now? Yum! Ice cream next year? Meh.”)
- “Theory-induced blindness” is being blind because you have a reasonable theory
- Self-control is about conflict, conflict takes two to exist
- Behavioral solutions are good for behavioral problems
- Windfalls should be reallocated rather than splurged
- People do not make large purchases often enough to gain useful experience
- The 2008 housing bubble was so painful because people were leveraged against their equity; the 2000 tech crash was much less painful because few had leverage their paper gains
- We get very defensive when we start losing money
- “Secret sales”–unadvertised sales–are bad for revenue because the customer was willing to pay full price when they walked in
- People think about rebates differently than a discount
- “… the perceived fairness of an action depends not only on who it helps or harms, but also on how it is framed.”
- Removing discounts is usually perceived as more fair than raising prices
- “Unfair” maneuvers are less noticeable so are not well noticed when competition follows suit
- “Paradigms change only once experts believe there are a large number of anomalies that are not explained by the current paradigm.”
- “Inside views” lock our perspective to the team’s optimism
- “Outside views” let us reference other, similar projects
- It is important to reward people for making good decisions based on the information available at the time, regardless of subsequent learnings
- (This is really important in business and with children. Punishing either for not knowing something damages confidence.)
- In the “beauty contest” game, it is important to ask who the other players are so you can guess at their beauty standards
- Stock market trading volumes should be lower if everyone is rational
- “But nothing attracts attention more than a good fight.”
- “When people are given what they consider to be unfair offers, they can get angry enough to punish the other party, even at some cost to themselves.”
- Fallacies of decision making:
- People are overconfident.
- People make forecasts that are too extreme.
- The winner’s curse. The auction winner is the one who most overvalued the object.
- The false consensus effect. People tend to think that other people share their preferences. (“Everyone is just like me”)
- Present bias.
- People become risk seeking when they are way ahead (“house money”) or way behind (“breakeven”)
- People are more risk adverse in public than in private
- It is more common to lie through omission than commission
- “By convincing his fellow contestant that picking split would be his only hope of getting money, Nick ensured that he wouldn’t be alone in choosing the split ball.”
- Softening risks can be more beneficial than boosting payouts
-
“The Thing with Wings” by Noah Stryker
- Birds have been known to follow roads
- Birds can hear infra sounds and smell really well
- Most pigeons do not get lost, they either die or go home with someone else
- Starlings track their seven nearest neighbors, Starling of metric distance
- “Was math invented or discovered?”
- Vulture defecate on their legs to disinfect them
- Hummingbirds
- Smallest warm blooded animals (except some shrews)
- Aztec God of War
- Beaks are very flexible
- Go into suspended animation for sleep because they cannot get enough to eat to stay alive
- Are not social and do not flock
- Can become too heavy to fly
- Most animals live for one billion heartbeats
- Fear invokes a range of responses, not just Fight or Flight
- Water fowl spoke easier and flee further during hunting season
- Penguin ditch circadian rhythms in the summer but keep them in the winter
- Vocal mimicry is a limited in animals
- Chickens
- Have a strongly enforced pecking order
- An egalitarian coop tends to be more violent because no one knows their place
- Have better color vision than us
- Are insighted to violence when they see red
- Art and utility used to be synonyms
- It is best to be nice in the wrong run
- Cooperating sometimes benefits the kids and sometimes the parents
- Generosity satisfies a primal need
- Albatross
- Mate for life
- Can lock its shoulders to hold it’s wings without using muscles
- Fly an estimated four million miles in its life
-
“Smart Brevity” by Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz
- “I didn’t have time to write you a short letter. So, I wrote you a long one.” Mark Twain
- Short, not shallow
- Core Four
- Muscular tease (6 or fewer words)
- One strong sentence or lead (tell me something I don’t know or want to know)
- Context (explain why this matters)
- Choice to learn more (on their time)
- Listen to the readers and the data
- “All you can do is the next right thing.”
- What we want to say vs what they need to hear
- Write to someone in particular
- Say what you want to get across. Then stop.
- Guide
- 6 words tops for the subject line
- 10 words or less for the reason you are writing
- Active verbs always
- Trumpet one big thing
- Answer the question: What is this? Is it worth my time?
- Tips
- “Why it matters?”
- “It’s hot, I’m going inside”
- “Who doing what”
-
“The Book of Boundaries” by Melissa Urban
- Boundaries are for managing our responses
- “This is the limit of behavior that is acceptable to me.”
- Boundary setting is not mean
- In order to set the boundary, you need to spell them out
- “Clear is kind”
- Make an “incoming boundary” sound to signal a change in the conversation to add some distance between the offense and setting the boundary
- “Uh”, “huh”, “opps”
- Do not be afraid to ask to circle back to correct inappropriate behavior
- Healthy boundaries come from the self; they do not seek to control others
- “Unearned guilt” is feeling guilty for not behaving like someone else wants
- Avoid oversharing or excusing why you are creating the boundary
- (It is also easier to negotiate the conditions or satisfy them, which is often not what you want.)
- Avoid setting consequences when you first set the boundaries
- Be okay to adjust boundaries over time as things change
- Periodically ask yourself if a boundary is still needed
- Be sociable on your time to be proactive
- Communicate your feeling clearly and accurately, expect your partner to do the same
- Boundaries are not replacements for communication
- Try having tasks being owned end-to-end (recognition, conception, and execution) so no one has to nag and to avoid splitting the cognitive load
- Put chores on a schedule
- Consent must be respected without excuses
- Outline and emulate boundaries that of the behavior you want to see
- People can feel bad about what they are doing
- “I don’t talk about food over food.”
- “I’m not drinking right now.”
- “The Ring Theory”
- Grief flows out
- Comfort flows in
- People at the center of an event have no obligation to comfort those outside their ring
- Give people space to save face
- Be graceful when people come back
- Provide face time to talk
- Accept the boundary and follow up later
- Provide face time to talk further