“Talking to Strangers” by Malcolm Gladwell

• Illusion of Asymmetric Insight
  • “The conviction that we know others better than they know us and that we might have insights about them that they lack, but not vice-versa, leads us to talk when we would do well to listen…”
  • We are nuanced and complex, but the stranger is simple and easy
• We default to truth, assuming others are telling the truth
  • We only stop believing when we can no longer explain the discrepancies
  • We need to have enough oddities before we doubt
• We tend to assume “transparency” in which the face and behavior communicates internal processes
  • We struggle to detect lies when demeanor and truthiness are mismatched
• Alcohol has myopic effects, not inhibitive effects; it pushes out everything but the immediate
  • “How can you negotiate consent when both parties are so far from their true selves?”
• “Coupling” is when things only happen when coupled together
  • Suicide from a particular bridge
  • Reading a story and crying only when with loved ones
• “Displacement” is when blocking one path simply pushes the volume to another path

Note: The audiobook version is a fantastic blend of real interview recordings and audio interludes. More like a long running podcast than simply a book, read.