Blog

• ‘Radical’ is a preceding
• Avoid using ‘baby steps’ as an excuse or weapon
• It is okay to take “‘adult steps” too
• The Mother pulls us through the keyhole
  • “Not everything you let go of needs to have claw marks.”
  • (Learn to be okay with letting things go)
• Unaddressed issues come out sideways
• Denial, deflection, distraction
• “The elephant did not just show up.  You’ve been feeding and watering it for years.”
• “Pain shopping” by following exes on social media
• Do not try to fix what cannot be fixed
• Use a third person narratives to recognize things without personalizing them
• “If there are feelings in the room, someone has to feel them.”
• If you cannot trust your body, then the act of living is unsafe and that is traumatic
• “How you do anything is how you do everything…  except in bed.”
• Love is a state of being, not an emotion
• Energetic intimacy
  • Presence
  • Humility
  • Curiosity
• Be a thread (distinct but integrated) not an egg (integrated and indistinct)

• “Is that your Bible?”
  • (Make sure the morals you are quoting are yours)
• Being okay with subjugation by the rich is a puritan thing
• “Light on the hill” is saying we are responsible for the world
• Not all biblical promises and covenants always apply to all people and nations
• “Liberty”, as in “civil liberty”, does not appear in the Bible
  • (This is in fact a great religious misconception. Biblically, the ideal form of government is a monarchy.)
• Interpretations should not rest solely on historical context
  • If a reunderstanding of historical context changes your interpretation, then your interpretation is probably inappropriate
• “The Bible is not a riddle to be solved”
• Sin affects both individuals and communities
• Taking the Bible “literally” is to abuse the scriptures
• Communities are united by their common loves
• The point is to use earthly tools but not get distracted by them
• “Exile as mission”

• “You don’t need to tear down the system. You become the system… and then the rules are there to project you.”

This is about the forming and running of Goldman Sachs.

• Goldman Sachs (GS) had a rough start then took off when the families stepped back
• Running small for so long let them learn what to do right
• Being small also let them pivot and experiment
• “Something well bought is half sold”
• “Doing thousands of little things, day after day, inching along as consistently as you can in the right direction as best as you can tell is ‘management’. And motivating or inspiring everyone to work together for long-term purposes is ‘leadership’.”
• We are “long-term” greedy
• “No great plans to change… just improve.”
• “Fix it, right away.”
• “Research is like a parking lot at a movie theater. You have to have it but it’s not the business you are in.”
• “The boss needs to lose [some] arguments.” (This is powerful to foster employee engagement.)
• “Would you put your mom’s money there?”
• Do they reward your integrity?
• “Everyone has two reasons for doing something: a ‘good’ reason and the real reason.” JP Morgan
• Liquidity evaporates as consensus is gained
• “The markets can take longer to become rational than you can remain solvent.” John Maynard Caines

• The question to ask is, “Why kids won’t can’t do what we want them to do?”
• Early childhood trauma mitigates future phobia
• Children need to experience moderate stress and then relief
• Yelling at a child is basically the same as hitting them (based on brain scans)
• Holding hands is really powerful
• Schizophrenic patients back home fare worse since schizophrenic patients living with strangers
• Expressed emotion
• No casual criticisms
• Executive function has little correlation with intelligence
• Demonstrating imperfection to your kids helps them by okay with their own imperfections
• Styles
  • Authoritarian (“the good old days”): Tells what to do
  • Authoritative (best): Explains why we are doing it; negotiates when reasonable alternatives are presented
    • Connection with children
    • Communication about problems
    • Building skills of children
  • Permissive (worst): Lets the kids do what they want
• Excessive time with pre-teens does little to support their growth
• Relationships and independence are the most important pieces of parenting
• Mistaken goals are when children try to belong through powerful, negative emotional engagement
• Negligence forces the brain to mature prematurely that results in over anxiety
• Read and discuss things
• Instead of praise, state what you are seeing
  • “I see Daniel has put his coat on the hanger”
  • Praising can make a praise addict where identification helps them feel seen
• Kids are predictable, plan ahead
• Do things with children, not to them
• Consequences need to be known ahead of time
• The goal is to show a behavior, not to “like” it