Action Figure Daniel

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  • My Crazy Thursday

    My Thursday was a crazy but fun and good day (so much so I thought I would tell the world about it). To start with I went in early so that a Network Technician could work on our network. That morning I had purposely laid out some metal that I needed to get soldered. What use is laying stuff out if you don’t forget it? I forgot the metal.

    After the tech was done I went home for lunch and to get the metal and to take a nap. The nap was wonderful. I think that doing a few hours of work then taking a nap before returning to work is one of the most amazing work setups. I wish I could do it every day. But what use is going back home to get something you forgot if you don’t forget it again? I forgot the metal again.

    I headed back home. As I was stopping for a light I was watching so birds frolicking in the sky. Suddenly, BAMM! Just kidding, I didn’t hit anything. I did watch as one of the birds dropped from the sky and landed in the turning lane next to me. What use is seeing something fall out of the sky for the first time if it was just a plain bird? It wasn’t a bird.

    I crept forward to get a better look and the dead bird but instead starred in disbelief. It wasn’t a bird. It was a fish. A dead fish had just fallen out of the sky and landed next to my car. I know it’s crazy. The light turned green before I could get my camera out and by the time I came back it was squished.

    So I got the metal and went to work, again. Work was fairly normal/boring. T asked me if I was working Friday. I told her I thought I might be ill (read: “not interested in working”) and that said illness might last through Monday. She said that I had just got back from vacation and had no business trying to take a four day weekend. I had to try, right?

    After work I went to Confidence’s house so that I could use his dad’s soldering iron. The solder work wasn’t the best, but was good enough. I then got to see Confidence’s art work, which is amazing. He does a lot of work with clay and some paintings. It was a marvelous end to a good day.

  • The Unprototypical Samuel

    When Samuel woke up that morning he didn’t expect anything unusual to happen. In fact, as he stepped out onto the welcome mat outside 4224 Rocky Overview drive he couldn’t even think of anything unusual that could happen. As he walked out onto the sandy beach just outside his door he stretched in the island sun. It was a good and quiet morning. Samuel looked up and down the street. Many of his neighbors were also standing on the beach looking as the ocean waves crashed on the shore. A few were even playing in the morning swells.

    Samuel ducked back inside to grab his breakfast. Eating breakfast on the beach watching the waves come in and out was one of his favorite things to do. Had he known what would happen to him he might have had something different for breakfast. As it was he didn’t know so he stuck with his normal breakfast of thick algae water, it works wonders on the body. Had he known that something unusual would happen to him he might have waved to neighbors. As it was he didn’t know so he didn’t wave to them.

    The sun rose and made the beach sand so hot that Samuel couldn’t stand on it anymore. He headed back into his house as did most of his neighbors. The tide rose all the morning and into the afternoon until it peaked at 3:35 in the afternoon. Samuel’s house was so close to the ocean and sometimes the tide was so high that some of the water spilled into his front door. Today was one of those days. When that happened Samuel simply took a nap and waited for the tide to go back. That is what he did today.

    His nap was a prototypical nap. When he woke up he couldn’t remember his dream, but it didn’t matter much because he was hungry. Samuel headed back to his front door to see how much water the tide had left. It wasn’t much but Samuel mopped it up anyway.

    Samuel once again stood on the beach outside his front door. He stretched as he wondered what he ought to do for the rest of the day. Had he known what was about to happen to him he might have packed up his house or at least some essential items. As he didn’t know he left everything where it was and prepared his lunch. Had he know what was to happen he might have called his mother. As he didn’t know he didn’t call her.

    Instead of doing any number of things that would have prepared him for any number of unusual things that might have happened Samuel decided that he would eat lunch, take a swim in the ocean and then start his evening with a bath. Perhaps the only slightly helpful item on his list was eating lunch. It is much easier to handle a variety of unusual things that might happen when you’re not hungry.

    Samuel began eating his lunch. It was the usual mixture of algae water and shell fish. Just after his third bite he was rudely interrupted by the thump at his door. He walked to the door and looked outside. No one was there. He went back to lunch. After a few more bites he was again rudely interrupted by a much louder thump at his door. Samuel again went to the door and looked outside. No one was there. Samuel went back to his lunch. He ate a few more bites before there was a third thump at his front door. This time it was so loud that it shook his whole house. When he reached the front door he ran onto the beach and looked around.

    He was all alone on the beach, the warm sand beneath his feet and the deep blue sky overhead.
    He turned around and saw the source of the thumping. Sitting on a ledge against the sand dunes was a full sized person. This was the beginning of the unusual things in Samuel’s life. It was unusual for a person to venture this far down the beach. It was unusual that the said person would stop and sit on the beach in this particular location. It was unusual that Samuel would be standing alone on the sand. All these things added together deserved further investigation.

    Samuel took one more look around. He was alone on the beach, just him and the person. He started to walk toward the person. Samuel was a curious crab by nature and so the many unusual events all happening at once more him so interested that he almost forgot that it was dangerous for crabs to run to people. In fact he had already ran halfway between his home and the person before he thought that it was look a little suspicious to have a small crab running to greet a person.

    Samuel stopped and grabbed a small shell lying nearby. He ran the shell through his mouth as if he was looking for food. He dropped the shell and ran some more only to stop again. This time he was feeling around a hole and noted that it could work for cover. These he had done just as a guise. His eyes remained locked with the person’s. They never blinked or veered but remained fixed.

    The tiny crab kept running toward the person. He starred into the deep soulful eyes. They seemed surprised, as they should be. It was unusual for crabs for run to people and the eyes could hardly believe that a crab would run to them instead of running away. The eyes watched as the crab ran and stopped, ran and stopped. They began to realize that the crab was running to their feet and though it pretended to be looking for food it really wasn’t. It was coming to talk, it was coming to say ‘hi’, it was coming to deliver a message.

    The crab stopped. The crab stopped a few feet away. The crab stopped a few feet away from the person.

    The person smiled at crab. The crab smiled at the person.

    The person lowered its head and Samuel looked away.

    When Samuel woke up that morning he didn’t expect anything unusual to happen. He hadn’t eaten something different for breakfast, he hadn’t waved to his neighbors, he hadn’t packed up his house, he hadn’t even called his mother. Samuel now knew that today was an unusual day and he wasn’t sure how to finish the day. He could go back to his house, back to his neighbors, back to his algae breakfast or he could move on.

    He looked again at the person as he tried to decide what to do. Then his mind was made up. He ran past the person and carried on down the beach. He left 4224 Rocky Overview drive behind and never looked back. He would find another house.

    When Samuel woke up the next morning he expected unusual things to happen.

  • Essence of Cherry

    He stretches his tongue out of his mouth and rubs it against his upper lip. His tongue is so dry that every bud on it feels like a glass bead falling into the cracks of his parched lips. For a place so moist and humid he never thought he could be so deprived of water. His tongue, being nearly useless, slips back into his dry mouth. The lick probably made his lips worse instead of better.

    Slowly he lies down on his back, the gravel digging into the back of his head. He wants to brush the gravel smooth but his hands are already so dry they ache. Getting them dusty would make them worse. Instead he just lays there shifting his head from side to side hoping the gravel will magically move or that he’ll find a more comfortable position.

    The dark, thick, heavy clouds are moving overhead. He breathes in the sweet air and is grateful that at least the air is not as dry as his swollen lips. The same wind that pushes the clouds also pushes on his cheek. It is a cool, dry wind so full of deceit; even as it cools his warm skin he can feel it pulling precious moisture out of his cheek. He turns his head to face the wind, the coolness is a relief on his flaming skin but in an instant any moisture his tongue had put on his lips is wicked away.

    He pulls his hood up around his face. It provides some protection from the cruel wind. Even through the thin fabric he can feel the sharp gravel rocks poking at his skull. Cloud after moisture laden cloud move through his view, none are willing to share their abundant water.

    He closes his eyes and fills his lungs once again with the sweet air. It smells like rain, that pleasant, sweet almost dusty scent. Somewhere, someone is getting rain. He hopes they are enjoying it while he is dying like a tropical plant in a dry desert.

    His eyes fly open. For one single, fleeting moment he felt the gentle tap of a tiny drop of water on his lip. The lip so relieved that it now ached at being reminded of what it has been missing. His eyes dart across the sky. There is no sign of more rain. The memory stayed with him though, like a fleeting kiss from a lover that will never be seen again.

    Minutes passed with no more moisture. The clouds continued to move along too proud and mighty to pay any attention to him. As the aching in his lip died down he began to question the moment. Maybe he just imagined it. Maybe his lip was tingling from a momentary lapse in circulation.

    The clouds were getting darker as they rolled over head. Instinctively he reached his tongue out once again, his lips so dry that his tongue had to push them apart. He dragged his tongue across his upper lip like sandpaper across rough stone. Once done pretending to deliver moisture to the upper lip the tongue navigated down to the lower lip.

    There was no pretense of moisturizing; the tongue was here to investigate the damage. He could feel the cracking and splitting, it was more extensive than it had been when he first laid down. But what was to be expected; at least there was no blood. But there was, it just took a minute for enough moisture from his tongue to raise the blood for a taste. The bitter, acidic taste of the blood repulsed him as he started to wonder if it were possible to bleed to death through one’s lips.

    He looked over to some nearby trees and began to wonder how much moisture he could get out of them, if they could possible sooth his aching body and bring much needed relief. The effort would be too much. The leaves were tiny and frail, the dry autumn winds had already started to pull the moisture from the leaves and the bark was sure to be dry.

    He looked back to the clouds, longing for just a few drops of their bounty. Still, they would not yield.

    He could hear the distant sound of thunder. Somewhere, someone was definitely getting rain. He pulled his hood tighter and slipped his hands into his pocket as he continued to watch the clouds go by. As his body settled he could feel more pieces of gravel digging into his flesh reminding him how uncomfortable he was.

    Then there was new pain, something being pushed into his thigh. He pulled his hand from the warm fleece pockets and pushed into his pants pocket. Deeper and deeper it went until it struck a small smooth cylinder. His finger wrapped around it and retreated from the pocket. His hand held the cylinder above his face for inspection. As his eyes stared at the small white cylinder a smile broke through his cracked lips, of all the things to have forgotten, why was it this one simple thing.

    He retrieved his other hand from the fleece pocket. Gripping the top and bottom of the cylinder he pulled splitting the cylinder in two to reveal a glossy pink substance. Deliverance had been in his pocket the whole time. His mouth cracked open as his hand guided the cylinder across his lips, first the top and then the bottom, then his lips closed again. Cap met body and the cylinder was carefully placed again in his pants pocket.

    The smile returned to his face as he rose and brushed off the dirt and gravel, all remnants of his recent brush with death. He looked back up at the dark, think clouds once more. There was no more longing in his look, he was satisfied and didn’t need their cruel teasing anymore. His tongue stretches out once again to rub his lips, but instead of blood he tastes the faint essence of cherry.

  • My Car Elazar and the Problem of the Signal

    As many who have ridden in my car in the past while can attest, Elazar has been getting progressively vocal about his feelings and opinions. At first I thought this was just a phase and that he would grow out of it. He didn’t .

    His new found power of expression came shortly after his turn signals were fixed. His turn signal box was recalled-ish (Chevrolet has enough problems with them that they will replace them for free but not enough that they send out letters with recall information) and I got his replaced as it often prevented the turn signals from working. The problem was fixed but occasionally Elazar would randomly start clicking.

    The first time it happened was just after I dropped Tyler off at the Portland airport early in the morning. The clicker started running and I started to panic. I started flicking the turn signal back and forth trying to get it to stop while praying in my heart that my car didn’t explode. We got home safe.

    For the next several weeks Elazar only occasionally clicked, it was almost cute. Still I tried to break him of the habit. I would put him on time out only to have him start back up the moment he was off time out. I would flick the signal in hopes that it would catch some magic lever and stop his tongue. I ever avoid going places that would take a lot of signaling to get to. None of these worked.

    The drive to Idaho was fine and mostly filled with my choice of music. In Idaho the problem stayed minimal until near Valentine’s Day. I guess Elazar wanted to let everyone know how much he loved them and how glad he was to serve them. Even when he came back from surgery he was still quite chipper, much like Pollyanna. Something needed to be done.

    One Saturday morning we had a long talk and I worked with Elazar. I reminded him that even his inside voice was loud and it made it hard for other people to talk. I suggested that his instrument panel was a much more effective way to communicate his feelings and that perhaps he should use it instead of his clicker. I also took the cover off the steering column to see if I couldn’t find the problem. I couldn’t find anything. I did however hold the signal at so many odd angles that there was a brief sound of sizzle and a small puff of smoke. Knowing I could do little else I took this as my only concession and closed Elazar back up.

    The smoke and sizzle did something because for a long while he didn’t make another click, except when signaling of course, and then came the first hot day in Oregon. It wasn’t even very hot, but hot enough. Elazar started clicking as if he was imitating with Rush Limbaugh. At times it was none stop, no matter how I held the signaler he would just keep on clicking. It almost made me want to drive around with my signal on just so the clicking would be quieter, but I didn’t. Instead loud music prevailed and I stopped talking to people while I was driving.

    The clicking almost drove me to the point of taking him in the doctor, but before I could take him in I found out that he was in desperate need of tires. Not like when I was younger and we stopped liking the shoes we wore and begged for new ones. No, his tires were so thin that almost anything could have punctured them. The new tires made me too poor to take him to the doctor.  Being poor and the clicking being too bad to live with I took measures into my own hands. I operated.

    With the help of my sister Jacklyn I again uncovered the steering column. This part I knew. From my dad I was able to borrow the tool to get to where I couldn’t before. I was able to remove the signaling assembly. (The windshield wipers would like to point out that while they are connected to the signaling assembly they were working quite well and in way the cause of duress.) I pulled the assembly and carefully disassembled it.

    The answer was so simple. Elazar was talking so loudly all the time because his ears were clogged and he couldn’t hear everyone and he could barely hear himself. Through time and hot weather the grease that lubricated the signaler’s slide over the contact plates had oozed to fill in the breaks in the contacts. The car thought that the signaler was always on, in both directions! A couple of cotton swaps fixed that.

    Happy that I had found Elazar’s problem I started putting everything back together. As I was trying to cram the signal assembly and steering column back together the voice of my father kept playing in my head, “make sure it works before you put it all together.” I ignored the voice. Then it came again. I decided he might have more wisdom than I. Clicking the garage door opener I started my car. Honk! The horn went. “That’s odd,” I thought, “maybe he’s just happy to be able to hear again.

    Carefully I backed the car out of the garage and started to turn onto the street. Honk! The horn went. I stopped and slowly turned the steering wheel to the left. Honk, honk, honk! It went. I slowly turned it back. Elazar was silent. I slowly turned the wheel to the right. Hoonnkk, honk, hoonnkk! It went. I thanked the voice in my head for warning before I was compelled to drive my car to work with the car honking on my every turn.

    I pulled the car back in and pulled the steering column cover off again. I don’t quite know what all I did, just that in the end the honking stopped and the signal, lights and wipers all still work. Once I had got Elazar all put back together I again carefully backed out of the garage and turned onto the street. Elazar was again silent. I pulled forward and drove down the street. I am sure I must have looked crazy because I kept turning my signal on and off. He only clicked when he was supposed to; I was so happy.

    The next morning I drove to work almost feeling like I was driving a new car, a quiet car, a car that mostly kept to itself and when it had something to say it would try its very best to use the instrument panel. Ah the bliss of quietness.

  • New Daniel Record

    Oregon is amazing. I went running today, 5 miles. A new record. I think it was the fact that I have been running at the way high Idaho altitude and now that I am closer to see level it is easier than ever to run.